Necessity of Illusion

We cannot “know” without knowing the “not know”. In the sense, to know something we need to know the condition where something is not also! To have a complete understanding both assertion and negation of that assertion should be known…….meaning to say, that to assert 'oneness' truth we need to know the 'duality/multiplicity' beforehand as well. So it is necessary to be in the world of illusion before you completely see and appreciate the oneness in/of reality.

Fragile Fragrance of a Boy!

I was once madly in love, however she didnt wanted to be loved by me! Now, it hurts to love her, yet I cry in her arms, and scream at her, with her; out of agony and for that pain!
I had once hated to love her, then she was back, I was weak. I was weak out of nostalgia, fell for her again, only to know she was with another man when she ignored my love! Wasn't my love good enough, then?

Was I not willing to wait or were you not? You were not willing to wait for my love nor you waited for yourself to love me! Now, I wonder if you were weak? So weak as to succumb to tangible pleasures of life, that you did not realize you walked past, and walked over a blooming flower, crushing, in the spring of love! By crushing, though, you were able to squeeze out the pleasant fragrance out this flower, you would regret for your life that you will never get to see the fresh beauty of this flower under spring sunlight!
Yet.....yet, I continue to induce fragrance in you!!

Perennial Spasm

Sometimes questions arise in such a rush that you never know how to deal with it. You don’t know whom to ask. You are looking for answers in someone because you think you cannot answer as the question arose from within you. You are looking for a philosopher who has an explanation but the explanation is what he has for his questions or you look for a saint who has an answer based on his experience. But you are skeptical of both sources of replies to your questions because either it is biased by rationality or experience. Now where do you go, where do you stand, where do you see, what do you do? You start looking for answers by reflecting on those questions trying to answer by yourself to yourself. In a sense, you start looking for answers within you. At this point you still don’t know what You ( or I ) are? What You ( or I ) means? So, you are again pathless. Even if you start answering by ignoring the question of who You are and by just focusing on answers, you still see a distinction between question and answer. This distinction arises as you distinguish yourself as a questioner and an answer provider. Now that you have split your identity it is in crisis. Who are you? one who questions or one who answers? Or one who does both, like a light, behaving both as wave and a particle depending on how you are observed. At the end, the answer is never found but the question is either ignored in our pursuit to exist without being shattered by these questions or a self-convincing self-satisfying answer is provided by you-to-you so as to make a point for your existence. It is this absurdity that makes me write such things while listening to some alternative rock music at 2:45am on one of the midnights when you are restless trying to figure out what the hell is happening around you, what the fuck is happening to you, within you. Then you see a moron sitting next to you scratching his butt and with his eyes open staring straight into computer monitor as if his ancestors forgot to evolve eyelids. You realize convincing yourself that he is such a dickhead and that you are more elevated in asking such tough metaphysical questions which he doesn’t even fucking care. Then you wonder that he is not affected by anything in the world around him; O, forget about things within him, you don’t even know whether there is something inside him. His dumbness is his essence of- and purpose of his existence, and the secret to his happiness. As you are contemplating on him, he goes inside the restroom to pee. He farts with a complete feeling of freedom and pees ecstatically. Comes back, dives into the bed and cuddles with himself like a child and falls asleep soundly. You go crazy and mad that you are cursed with such a disastrous trait of intellect to ask such unanswerable questions, that you have been endowed with dirty habit of questioning, stupid ability to wonder. You just pick up a cigarette that was half smoked and go out with the same feeling and restlessness you started the thought with.

What is What ! or ?

Don't know. Confused. This is how I feel most of the time . The world is insane. Or am I too sensitive to the world's complexities, perplexities and stupidities. This is how I think all the time. The absurdity has manifested in me. It is growing, growing huge overtaking my existence. The existence is ceasing, only the politics remains. Where is that beautiful world which was promised in my childhood in which I celebrate the vividness of my existence without being aware of it. Loosing myself. What is the problem for which either we have solutions or striving to find one. I don't understand. Thus my being is questioned. I see death at the beginning of the quest. And the journey continues.....

A Victim of Absurdity

The very existence of man is evoked by 'being' a victim of sperm riot! Followed by hunger cries, for food and woman. Unsatisfied, he forces himself into revolution of ideas and opinions. Revolution leads him to war for meaning and purpose. Shattered and blood sucked out of him in the war, he becomes a refugee of dry old days without strength and meaning. The only rehabilitation for the victim is "DEATH". I am such a Man!!

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